First day back at work sucked. Exactly the opposite of what I needed. Exactly. A day of crushing disappointment and so-so activity. The new coupland came out today, in paperback before hardback, which is all kinds of curious, who would buy a hardback when there is a paperback available? I can see if you’re buying classics, but coupland? If ever there was an author made for paperback.
I read the first 40 pages on the way home, and I’m (very) pleased to report that it’s actually good. It’s already better than Jpod, thank fuck, and it’s following themes from his earlier works. The gothy female protagonist seems obsessed with birds, an early Coupland theme, super prevalent in life after god. The whole book has a little of a life after god feel about it so far, although it’s written as a novel and not a series of shorts.The third person journal style echoes of the detachment of life after god, and, indeed, most early Coupland, which in turn enables the lack of irony needed to be able to matter of factly assemble a generations mish-mash of thoughts into a single paragraph. This is the Coupland I fell in love with. I’m glad he’s back.
It’s strange, part of me is totally okay with sitting in my room on my own, watching movies, reading books and smoking a lone cigarette with a Tanqueray and tonic, I am after all, as everyone keeps reminding me, no longer in my twenties, but part of me continues to worry that this is all I’ll ever do if I stay here.
I find this country ever more stifling, in the way that people over 25 tend to get married and move to the ‘burbs, or just start behaving as if they may as well. I can accept this in smaller towns, but this is London, isn’t this the only place in England that it should be okay to keep doing what you’ve always done ? Settling down in your twenties just seems like such a waste, you’re barely an adult, and you’ve resigned yourself to doing what you’re going to have to do for the whole rest of your life…
The loneliness is getting easier to deal with, as predicted, but I’m not sure that this is a good thing. It somehow feels more like a resignation to the inevitable than something positive about being able to spend time in your own company without going crazy. I worry that I might end up with someone just for the sake of being with someone, although I know I’d never actually be able to do that. The other option doesn’t sound so healthy either though.
I just need to try and keep in mind that this whole next year is devoted to keeping my head down, and saving and writing and catching up on all the work I would have done in the last decade if I hadn’t spent the whole time, drunk at a show, with my friends.
I’m going to go and continue with the gum thief, and hope that it’ll help me figure out the things I need to know, the way he has in the past.
